"I’m starting to get over the one I used to call my best friend. I’ve told you that I didn’t wanted to give up on her like others had given up on me, but every time I got worse. At first I thought that if I had given up on our friendship I would be selfish. But, you can’t be selfish when your happiness 
in between, right? 

I decided not to hate her. Maybe she had her reasons for why she treated me the way she did. I will never know. Specially now since I have decided not to talk to her anymore. It’s not like I stopped talking to her like she did. I sent her a message (we haven’t seen each other for a while due to her behaviour). I told her that I couldn’t wait until she came around and decided to talk to me again. I told her that I wouldn’t bother her anymore. In my point of view, I think I did the right thing. At least I told her, didn’t I? It’s better than to walk away without a single word said. 

A friend of mine told me that I was doing the right thing by not hating her or having hard feelings towards her. He told me that I am a good person and an extraordinary friend. It’s nice to know someone feels that way about me. But if that were true then why did she left? Maybe she’s too fucked up for me to comprehend. 

The point is that I’m trying to be a better person. And to learn from this experience. I have a lot of better things to worry about like getting into the university, being a better daughter, sister, and friend, and exploring new things. I still have my friend who went back to our old school. We don’t talk as much as we used to but I’m fine. I have decided that I won’t let insignificant things affect me, not anymore. I am starting to learn how to love myself. 

I’m in such a great mood and I hope you are, too. I have decided to start to go out again, take pictures, ride my bike, hang out with friends, walk by myself. I’m not trying to avoid anything by this I’m just not waiting for something to happen."

"My best friends in the world have all left and nothing will change that. I’ve been through so much with them. They’ve always been there for me, and I’ve been there for them. We all thought the two months over the summer holidays was long enough, but now it’s forever. I’m not going to see them everyday like before. Even if I made more friends like I’d hoped it won’t help because I just miss them. I just miss them. I wish things didn’t have to change, I wish we didn’t have to grow up. Or I did. Until now. Now I want to leave, I want things to change. I can’t stand the thought of this whole entire year without anyone. While I turn 18. While I go to my last formal. While I finally grow up. Nothing is as I thought it would be. I never could have imagined finishing high school like this. But if everything had gone as I’d thought so much would have been different. I might not have even met those best friends that have left me. In fact, I definitely wouldn’t have"

found these posts on tumblr. they really fit my situation. i miss them.i miss our laughters. i miss my best friends. i miss hazirah, along and the one i miss the most, dya. if only we didn't have to be apart :(